Zen Wizard Sez: “Picasso=Overrated; Firecracker Labels=Underrated.”

August 3, 2006

After successfully initiating the creation of a Palesinian homeland for the Jews, Lord Balfour retired and took up auto racing.

He was sort of the House of Lords version of Andrew Ridgely.

 Chief Lone Eagle and J. Edgar Hoover…separated at birth??

An infamous misandryst, Crazy Debbie worked the cocktail lounges of the harbor district of Los Angeles–selling firecrackers as cigars to unsuspecting sailors.

Bettie Page posing for B&D porn= “Happy.”

Bettie Page moving to China and dropping 6 rugrats= “Double Happy.”

Gather ’round, children, and I will tell you the Legend of General Zit.  He conquered all of the known world, and afterwards, he knelt down and wept.  Not ’cause there were “no more worlds to conquer.”  ‘Cause people were still calling him, “Cyclops.”  How many lives could Clearasil have saved?

A young Eric Robert Rudolph claimed, at the subsequent patricide trial, that he followed the faulted instructions on the package–to wit, he “[Lit] firecracker; then [got] away quickly.” 

He then threw himself on the mercy of the court because he was “an orphan”–having blown up his sleeping, hillbilly dad. 

The sheer moxie of the defense team’s strategy prevailed.

These two pretty much speak for themselves….

Either a gorilla figured out how to turn the Empire State Building into a huge rocket ship, or that is the largest nitrogen-powered, strap-on vibrator I have ever seen.If I had a Chinese character exclaim, “Muchee Loud Noise” in a film screenplay, I would be called a racist.  But whatever…

The Native American tribes of the North American Plains had a unique custom wherein they allowed bespeckled chess club nerds to ride pigs instead of horses.

Not only is she “Queen of the Scuttlebomb,” but Sheba was also the first test volunteer for Pfizer’s new Nipple Viagra®.



2 Responses to “Zen Wizard Sez: “Picasso=Overrated; Firecracker Labels=Underrated.””

  1. Cibbuano said

    I love firecrackers! They make me double happy!

  2. zenwizard said

    An enterprising company in Macao could probably compete labeling firecrackers, “Triple Happy.”

    But where would it all end?

    Probably with, “Quadruple Jump Up and Down Just Won Lottery Happy” firecrackers!

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